When asked to create “cultures of accountability” programs clients are often surprised by my response. “Accountability starts with a personal belief system and commitment. When we are committed to holding ourselves accountable, intentional, consistent, daily disciplined behaviors follow.
You can’t create a culture of accountability artificially. Culture is molded by the actions your team members display daily. And, if you want to build a culture of accountability, your executive team and leaders must lead the way and be fearless in holding people accountable.”
Unfortunately, I’ve found this to be rare. I have, however, come across a handful of executive teams where “accountability” is a culture (which they didn’t realize until it was pointed it out). They saw it as “a way of being” they assumed existed in every organization.
One of those teams stood out. Among the 10-people executive team, all seemed to “effortlessly” and impeccably follow through on their deliverables. Observing them closely, it was clear that the tone was set by the CEO. If he said he would do something, he did. If he was going to be late, he let people know and apologized (careful not to repeat the tardiness). He was kind and generous and unafraid to speak the truth if he felt a person would grow from the experience. He set the same expectation for his leaders.
They never attended a meeting without a notepad or record-keeping device. They requested check-ins and due dates of each other after each agreed upon deliverable and delegated the tasks with the same expectations to their teams. The same appeared at the levels below. NOT, delivering to this expectation was rare and viewed as “odd.” This is an example of a highly accountable culture.
This doesn’t mean, however, that accountability can’t be taught or fine-tuned. It certainly can. To that same organization we offered training and coaching to sharpen their accountability skills (setting check-ins, due dates, and drop deadlines, delegating effectively, giving challenging and critical feedback, coaching them to help others hold themselves more accountable, and having “real” conversations). These are the strategies that allow highly accountable cultures to thrive, but it starts with an unwavering commitment to being accountable, communicating clear expectations, attracting and hiring people with these values and behaviors, and a personal commitment by everyone to personal excellence.
One of the most clear and effective accountability formulas I know come from the book “The Four Agreements.” These deceivingly short statements can take a person a lifetime to master. I once spent an entire year on the first agreement and made only a small positive dent. Consider these lifetime strategies to ensure your personal accountability is honest and on-point.
Let’s take a deeper look at them:
First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
This might seem deceivingly simple at first. Being impeccable means we do what we say we’ll do – always. If we tell someone we’ll get back to them, we do. If we promise to show up, we either do or inform the person we can’t.
But it’s not just about doing what we say we’ll do. It’s also the specific words we use and how we use them. The Toltec civilization (from which the four agreements are extracted) believed that words have the power to create and were gifts from God. They could be used as white or black magic (or power). What words you choose therefore play a big part in how impeccable you are (or not). Consider if you’re using words to gossip or elevate someone’s mood? Are your words meant to be constructive and helpful, or hurtful?
According to the Toltec, being impeccable in thought was equally important as the spoken words. Not only what we say to others, but also to ourselves. For example, are you kind to yourself in thoughts or overly harsh and critical? Is what you think about yourself or others judgmental or accepting?
Question to ponder for this agreement:
- In what ways are you impeccable with your words, and in which ways are you not? Where might you use a “white lie” or gossip (even ever so slightly) and break your impeccability? Where might speaking your truth (even if it’s hard for the receiver to hear) actually be helpful and not saying it hurtful?
- What commitments will you make to sharpening your impeccability and hold yourself to a higher standard of accountability?
Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
Well, this is easier said than done! It’s hard to NOT take things personally when it “feels personal.” This is where understanding the first agreement (being impeccable with your word) comes in handy.
What others say or how they act, are their choices to be impeccable or not. How they behave or express themselves is not about you. It’s healthy to question how you can do things better or differently, but when we take things personally, it’s other people’s stuff or baggage we take on. What makes it more difficult is that what feels as a personal attack most likely is a core wound within us that triggers feelings, memories, or behaviors for which we are responsible (not the other person). When we take things personally, it’s a sign we have some emotional work to do.
To sort out what might be mine or theirs, I ask myself “What part of this is mine? What did I contribute (if at all) to this? What apology or amends is appropriate for me to offer if I co-created the situation?” With this clarity it becomes easier to sort out what could be mine or theirs.
The opposite is also true. If people praise you and say you’re wonderful, consider not taking that personally either. I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy or appreciate compliments. Thank the person and take it in. Feel the joy, then release the compliment. The moment you make other people’s opinions of you personal (positive or negative), you have given them your power meaning your happiness or sadness is in their hands.
An alternative approach is to find “neutral.” It’s a place where you live in the moment and while acknowledging the past and future, the present is your focus. If you like sports, you might find this book interesting on the topic: It Takes What It Takes where the author, a mental game coach, emphasizes the importance for competitive athletes to use neutral to win more games. Our business slogan is, “We’re not for everyone. But we might be for you.” Over the years, we’ve come to appreciate what makes us unique and know that we won’t be a fit for all clients. Once you accept yourself or your business as it is, peace flows and very few things are personal.
Question to ponder for this agreement:
- What do I tend to take personally and from whom? What emotional wounds might get triggered by comments or situations? What can I do to heal so I don’t take these types of comments personally anymore?
- What commitments will you make to stop taking things personally and sort situations and conversations appropriately?
Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
When I do root-cause analysis with teams who seem to have reached a “dead-end” we almost always uncover that the actual source of the conflict isn’t personality, behaviors, or attitudes. It’s rooted in unclear expectations and assumptions. Most conflicts can be resolved by re-checking or clarifying assumptions. The challenge is we often believe and rely on assumptions as if they are the truth (which they rarely are). Sometimes we make assumptions because we don’t have the courage to or genuine interest to ask deeper questions.
What would happen if we stopped assuming and instead asked open-ended questions to ensure we were on the same page? What if we dared to ask more challenging questions to uncover the truth or clarify misunderstandings earlier? How might that resolve issues faster? You’ll not be surprised to find less conflict, miscommunications, misunderstandings, or embarrassments. It’s a simple process, yet so many of us are caught in the “assumption carousels” more frequently than we care to admit.
Question to ponder for this agreement:
- What assumptions am I making? Is there a pattern to my assumptions (certain people or situations)? What if those assumptions are inaccurate, how would I feel then? What questions am I afraid to ask to avoid making assumptions? What if I’m wrong?
- What commitments will you make to stop making assumptions and sort things appropriately?
Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
When I first learned these concepts, I thought, “Finally! This one I can check off the list.” It was, however, short-lived excitement. While I have always had an unwavering desire to do my best, when I considered if I was doing my best in the other three agreements (being impeccable with my word, not taking things personally, and not making assumptions), I had to uncheck the box.
I had a long way to go if I wanted to truly be my best every single day. When I took a closer look at my daily activities and behaviors, I noticed plenty of opportunities to “do my best.” I started with small daily actions. I picked up garbage on the sidewalk I had noticed but chosen to ignore. I was telling “little white lies” frequently and forced myself to correct them (lots of apologizing that year). I disciplined myself to re-read emails before sending to make sure it was easier for the receiver to understand. These daily micro action steps added up until I was able to slowly check this box with higher frequency.
Question to ponder for this agreement:
- What can I do each day to make sure I’ve done my best (personally and professionally)? What would the “best version” of me do today or in this scenario?
- What commitments will you make to do your best – every single day (today, this week, month or year)?
By committing to improving your accountability daily, you’ll find that those around you either gravitate toward or away from you. People who have a personal commitment to being their best will seek you out. Those who are “accountability masters-in-training,” will admire and emulate you. People who lack personal accountably will run from you. Consider this if you are a manager or leader responsible for hiring others. Ask about their personal accountability routines or commitment in the interview. If they lack personal discipline, consider how much time or energy you have for coaching or managing this gap. Be clear in your standards and expectationsand upfront agreements to make sure you’re on the same page.
Remember, you can’t “create” a culture of accountability if you hire people who are not personally committed to holding themselves and others accountable. On the other hand, you effortlessly have a culture of accountability when you hire people who are highly accountable.
