The above statement triggers discomfort among managers and employees who tend to be uncomfortable talking about performance (unless things are going great, of course).
What would happen if “let’s talk about your performance” was instead viewed as an exciting opportunity?
It can be. The key is to have a consistent process where both manager and employee know what is expected. They agree that each performance review will include a conversation about what they do well and what they can improve. There are no surprises or “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Formal performance-feedback sessions should be regularly scheduled, with few “new” issues brought forward. Problems should be addressed as they happen. The performance-feedback session is a more formal opportunity to discuss and record action steps for continued and positive forward movement.
If you are new to holding performance-feedback sessions, you’ll find the posts Performance-Feedback Conversations Employees Love and The 3+1 Performance-Feedback Formula helpful.
To build your confidence (or have a structure for continuous performance-feedback conversations), follow these steps. They assume you’ve already scheduled the sessions and have agreed on how to handle challenging performance feedback.
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- Set the stage: Start the conversation with a pleasant greeting to establish a positive tone. Something like, “Thank you for coming. I know this is the first time we are doing this process, so let’s give each other a bit of leeway as we are both learning. My intention for this session is to be productive and helpful.” Or, “I’m looking forward to having these sessions frequently. It’s a chance for me as your manager to give feedback, both positive and challenging, to help you grow and meet your personal and professional goals.”
- Invite the employee to share first: During this process, it’s important to shift from a traditional end-of-year conversation in which the manager does most of the talking to one
in which the employee shares and engages in the conversation. A great start is to share several positive actions you’ve noticed since the first (or previous) meeting, along with one way they can grow between now and your next session. Instead of sharing your perspective first, ask the employee to first share the two or three things they are proud of accomplishing since you last met, and one thing they want to develop next. Reversing the traditional flow allows the employee to “own” the session and removes fears and discomfort. There is always some overlap between the manager’s observations and those of the employee. There’s nothing more powerful than self-awareness. It’s a great confidence-builder. - Stay in listening mode and ask open-ended questions: Avoid making statements. Instead, ask open-ended questions that start with what, when, where, and how to elicit wider responses. Another great “go-to” is “tell me more.” This powerful request elicits deeper insights and often gets to the core of an issue. When you become comfortable asking open-ended questions, the employee is more likely to share. Avoid interrupting or injecting statements.
- Offer your feedback clearly, highlighting any overlap: After you’ve asked the right questions and actively listened to the responses, it’s time to offer your own feedback. Share your observations about what they did well. Clearly articulate what you want them to work on between now and the next meeting. Avoid filler words or hesitation language like “I think” and “maybe.” Be clear and direct when offering positive and challenging feedback. Highlight overlaps where you both noted the same accomplishments or areas for improvement. This builds rapport and trust. Review any differences and discuss how the employee can move into action and grow between now and your next meeting.
- Summarize action steps and check for final agreement: Once the conversation is completed, summarize and record final agreed-upon details. This can be done via email or another written format. For more information on how to write effective feedback statements, read The 3+1 Performance-Feedback Formula.
These steps are designed to get you started and feel more prepared. As you become more experienced with performance-feedback conversations, you’ll feel more natural and might even start wearing your “coaching hat” more often.
