Oops, you did it again! You stepped in a communication pitfall, and now you’d like a do-over.
The good news: Most of the time, others will give us a second chance if we genuinely want to make amends. Let’s review the most common pitfalls and how you can transform communication.
Darn it. I…
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- Miscommunicated (in general): “I think we’ve had a miscommunication. Would you be willing to try that conversation again?” or, “After processing, I realize I (fill in the blank). Can we re-do that conversation?”
- Made an inaccurate assumption (or several): “I realize I made an assumption about what you said. Would you share that with me again, so I can really hear you?”
- Had an expectation that backfired: “I had a different expectation for this _______ (insert scenario). Could we meet to clarify standards and expectations, so we are on the same page moving forward?”
- Interrupted: “I apologize for interrupting. It’s my natural tendency, and I’m actively working on not doing so. Would you be willing to say that again?”
- Didn’t listen/hear the core of the message: “I’m not sure I heard you. Would you say that again or differently? I want to make sure I understand your message.”
- Didn’t ask questions: “Tell me more about that.” or, “Can we have that conversation again? I’m not sure I understand where you’re coming from.”
- Multitasked and didn’t pay attention: “I was distracted the last time we spoke. Would you be willing to have that conversation again, or could you provide a few missing details?”
- Didn’t honor the truth and was vague/passive-aggressive: “Last time we spoke, I wasn’t direct in my request. What I wanted to say is….”
- Projected: “Because I have strong feelings about this topic, I projected them on our conversation. Would you be willing to revisit it? I promise to stay neutral.”
Remember, your ability to correct a miscommunication depends on your willingness to take personal ownership of your mistakes. Don’t get too comfortable simply apologizing for mistakes. Nothing erodes trust faster than promising to change and not doing so.
